The Great Outdoors

I've been meaning to get the girls out on a camping trip for a long time. I had originally considered camping on the trip to Indiana last summer but the idea of setting camp up every night and tearing it down each morning convinced me otherwise.

It was kind of a no brainer that they'd like it. Sleeping in a tent, playing outside all day, kids galore, making smores for dessert... All things I knew they'd enjoy. And did they enjoy it.

The opportunity finally presented itself when Lori invited us to go along with her girls and her sister/brother-in-law's family. We headed out to Canyon Lake and spent 3 nights "roughing it." It went very well. They girls enjoyed playing with the "other" Ellie and Ashlynn. Swimming in the covered pool, enjoying a campfire and just generally having a great time.
I'm pretty sure that they would eat S'mores for dessert every night if I let them.

We headed into Gruene for lunch at The Gristmill. Food was good, the company was great and the weather was spectacular.


After lunch, it was time for the girls to get their first taste of fishing. Mike is a skilled angler and he was awesome with the girls. He brought several extra poles and you can imagine that Elliot and Campbell loved using the Barbie ones. We went down the hill from town to a spot on the river and cast away for an hour or two.



The campground had lots of things for kids to do and on the last night, we went on a glowstick hayride around the grounds. It was fun but I think we all suffered a little from the hay.

At the Nutcracker

Took the girls and they loved it!

Happy Halloween and some more

What a huge difference from our neighborhood in Tacoma. Up there, we had almost as many houses with no one home/lights off as those who were home. Halloween was kind of just another day.

And then there's Texas. Our entire neighborhood turned out for a block party. At the peak, there were at least 40 kids with 70+ adults. The moms who organized it did a great job with some games, activities and pumpkin carving. We blocked off the street from around our house down three houses further. Everyone brought some food. I screwed up my spare ribs and they were good but not great. One neighbor made a giant pot of gumbo. And everyone had a fantastic time. Once we got the kids to bed, a lot of the parents came back out sat around a fire pit. I called it a night around 1:00. Some of the wild and crazy ones were out way past that.

Sunday was Trick or Treating. The trend is now to sit outside on either your driveway or sidewalk and pass candy out from there. I like this idea. It made it very festive. The cul-de-sac families just sat together in a group and saw all the kids at once. We went around the circle with two neighbor families and had a blast. Tom and Linda came over and passed out candy for me and the girls were thrilled to be out and around.


Monday was '50's Day at school. Ellie was very interested in what the 50's were like on Sunday afternoon. I showed her some pictures of the people, fashion, icons. New York City. Yankee Stadium :) I showed her a picture of Grace Kelly (arguably the most beautiful woman to ever live.) Her reply: She looks like Mommy. Yes, Ellie, yes she did.

Out and about in October

I heard a guy on the radio the other day talk about how the 6+ months or so from mid October until mid April is why people live in Houston. The other 5 months are why housing is so cheap here. The weather has definitely turned. We even saw overnight lows in the 40s. So funny to see people walking around in the mornings with sweaters on. Bunch of weenies.

I finally got around to dumping the pictures on my phone onto the computer. Amazing how much stuff I had on there. Great pictures of the girls going back to April, some good mountain shots and some video I took of the Longhorn band marching onto the field before the TX-OU game at the Cotton Bowl.

The girls and I headed to downtown for the Bayou City Art Festival. I had never been before but I was jonesing for something resembling the outdoor markets and festivals that we were spoiled with over the last 3 years. And this one delivered. There was an amazing amount of art on display. Some really fantastic stuff that ranged from basic jewelry up to sculptures selling for $20,000. When we got there, the girls were more interested in getting some food so we ate first. And then came the ice cream.


We browsed some more art and the kiddos were enthralled with a sculpture artist that had created some items from old push button typewriters and Singer sewing machines with the hand spun wheel. Another guy had etched these incredible glass pieces that rivaled the best ice art we ever saw in Alaska. I would have spent a lot more time looking but both girls were in that "must try to touch everything" mode and that really didn't fly. Another snack and we were off to the music stage.

When we first got over there, a group doing traditional African dances was on stage. We were pretty far away from the act but Ellie and Campbell enjoyed the drumming a lot. When they finished a Latin jazz group was up next. We moved right up the stage and the girls started dancing with another little girl. By the time the band had finished their set about 10-12 little kids were trying their darndest to keep some kind of order. It was half dancing to the beat and half kiddo mosh pit.



An impromptu mini monument as a goodbye to so many good (and bad) things over the past months.

Quick update

The girls have been in school now for a few weeks and love, love, love it! Ellie was never an early riser but now, if her alarm goes off before mine, she's waking me up, ready to start the day. She comes home bubbling with things to tell me. And Campbell is enjoying herself too. She goes 3 hours a day to the same place and is adapting well to that schedule.

It's still hot and humid here, even in September. But there has been a definite cooling down as we've had some very rainy weather. I'm still trying to unpack the house. I'm planning Ellie's birthday party for the 19th so I need to have the house presentable by then.

Unpacking has been easy and hard. There is not an unopened box left that I don't know what's in it. If I really had to, I could get the dadmobile in the garage. I should be done with the house in the next few days. But dang if there aren't some hard moments. I was sitting here going through some of the girls artwork and school stuff. And folded up in the pile was a calendar page Jennifer had kept for September '04. Stuff like "Mom and Dad arrive", "UT v. Arkansas", the week count for Ellie and September 21.

That September seems so far away. Yeah, it's been 6 years. It was a long time ago. Time flies when your having fun. And sometimes even more when your not.

Just an FYI...

We're fully ensconced in our house. I got back from Seattle Friday after finishing up the last of the things I needed to do up there. For those that don't have, and would like our new address, drop me an e-mail at jwhydes@yahoo.com with a greeting and I'll respond in kind. I don't want to list it here because this is a public blog.

I thought I I was making serious headway on unpacking before the second shipment came two Fridays ago. And I was wrong. The second shipment was nearly all boxes. My garage is overloaded. But, the girls start school on the 23rd so I should be able to make some serious headway then.

I finally got around to uploading a few pictures. The house was a spec job by the builder as they try to finish out the neighborhood. There are only about 10 lots left in our section. I didn't have a ton of say in tile/carpet/paint choices since most of it was already done. I did get them to paint the study, put up blinds on every window and some extra ceiling fans throughout the house. As a bonus, they painted the girl's rooms the color of our choosing (pastel blue for Ellie and lilac for Campbell.) Unbeknownst to me, they had some extras planned for the house; The paneling on the bar in the kitchen and the glass cabinet to the left of the fridge space. The paneling looked awesome builder pictures that I saw. I was not sold on the glass cabinet until I saw it in person.

These are not my best work. I was running around taking pictures as the movers were getting ready to start unloading. Here are some interior shots:

Breakfast nook: One of the builder's reps picked the country green color and it really works. The wainscotting was a builder bonus and it looks fantastic.

Kitchen: You can see the glass cabinet and all the paneling. There is no white/pale line around the walls. I'm not sure why that happened

The study: Yes, that room is burnt orange. Hook 'em Horns!

The family room: There's a formal(ish) living room down stairs by the kitchen. This one upstairs has turned into a media room. I got it wired with speakers in the ceiling and a subwoofer. My TV is on the wall. It looks great.

I should have shared this before now

This is the eulogy that I delivered for Jennifer back in June.


"I have been up here, on this stage before. And Jennifer toughed it out that day as I nearly broke her hands while we exchanged vows because I was nervous. And I like to think that I'm not really alone now. It's been a world of surreal absurdity over the last few weeks. And the support of so many, from such different places has meant so much to me. We never really understand how many lives are touched and affected by others until things like this happen.

As you can assume, I could talk about Jennifer forever almost. Knowing someone for 22 years would make that exceedingly easy.

For those that don't know, we met in high school. We had an art class together. She made an A because she was excellent artist. My grade was purely based on participation and attendance. Why I waited almost all year to ask her out, I have no idea. I found out several years later that she told her mom after our first date “I’m going to marry that guy.” Give or take 5 years later, I proposed at Brennan’s. I was nervous, excited, and in love. And then we went to the Nutcracker ballet. We were bummed to hear that it burnt down during Ike. However, they rebuilt and one day soon, the girls and I will go back to the new Brennan’s for dinner. And the Nutcracker afterwards.

She was talking to a family member from the midwest one day about a wedding they would attend. There was a gap from around noon until 6:00 for the reception. Jenifer asked the other person why the gap. The reply was "a lot of those people work on dairy farms. They have tasks and chores that have to be done." My wife thinks for a second and says "Why not just wait until it's not milking season?" And from that point on, any dumb question was met with "milking season" in our household.

We drove most of the way to Alaska from Houston with a brief ferry ride. About Day 5, we were in Banff N.P. in Alberta. I'm driving along and a small black bear jumps up onto a Jersey barrier near the road and then into our lane. I stomp on the brakes and tell her to grab the camera, get out and take a picture. She tells me no way. I reply with "OK, how about standing up and taking one from the sun roof?" She's game and gets a shot as I creep closer. Then she sits down and says "You know, we're on the way to Alaska. We're probably going to see a few more bears over the next couple of years."

Cleaning up the personal effects of someone who is a pack rat and in the Army is funny and scary all at the same time. I accept that there is a need for having military forms in triplicate squared. But do any person really need four copies of the same Dixie Chicks CD? Or biochemistry notes from her sophomore year at UT? Or every single piece of school work that the girls have done over the past two years? And even most of my attempts at arts and crafts with the girls. Sadly, most of the girls stuff is better than mine. And it's not really close.

She kept a running commentary on life over the past few years. Thoughts like:

Don’t bother going to an Italian restaurant in Alaska. Calling it Italian food is a lie when they are serving Beefaroni but marking it up 1000%.

North is “Up” on a map. We are really, really far UP right now. Matter of fact, it’s so far UP that most maps don’t even bother to show where we are.

Temperatures below 0 are kind of cool to experience. Once.

BBQ on the west coast barely passes as poorly flavored meat. And Tex-mex is non-existent. Some places up here think Queso is melted then hardened cheddar over chips. That’s not queso. That’s a really boring plates of nachos.

Rain. We need it. The plants and animals need it. Can someone please send some of this rain somewhere else? But at least were not out in the Olympics. There's a rain gauge at Lake Quinault that shows the record of 180+ inches one year. Who went through that year and thought, "Hey, this is a great place to live."

There’s a bakery in the Pike Place Market right next to the famous fish throwers. Maybe the bakery ought to start throwing cookies and donuts at people.

No matter where the sun rises, it’s always burnt orange.

For those that recently followed the drama of the Big XII realignment, I would have bored her to death with the details, the swings, the changes and the end result analysis. And she would have humored me by listening and having her own opinion. And she was ok with the fact that, during the fall, on Saturday, we weren’t going anywhere. The TV would be on, I would be switching between 2-3 games at a time and keeping one eye on the girls. We’d have lunch at home, the girls would play and when the Longhorns came on, unless the house was burning down, I was almost oblivious to the world.

Being a mother thrilled her. Watching her do art projects with Elliot and Campbell was awesome even though I knew I was going to be the one who got to clean it all up eventually. Elliot would try to make something perfect and pretty. Campbell was just happy to have a pair of scissors or markers that she could do some real damage with. And I tried not to eat the glue.

One of the last days we were all together, we went to lunch on Mother’s Day at a place that overlooks Puget Sound. That Sunday was one of the few “nice” spring days we had this year. It was warm and toasty in the sun and a little chilly in the shade. The girls did their usual “I want to sit by mommy” routine and Jennifer always enjoyed knowing that the girls wanted to be at her side. Elliot had picked out some earrings for Jennifer the day before at the Olympia Farmer’s Market and she could barely wait to give them to her. It was a perfect outing. One of memories. One for always.

She was so proud to be a doctor. And she was damn good at it. I know she could have done any number of other things as well but none better. Watching her work hard through it all made me admire her. Hours and hours of studying. Rotations that took her away from home for 10 or 12 hours a day. Being on call sometimes every 4th or 5th night. Caring for patients and sharing the stories of people she helped. Doing it right and well.

And while she got tired of dealing with Army when it came to her own health, I know she was proud to be a soldier. And she was good at it. She was so good at everything she did.

Until recently, I used to wonder what she and I did with all the time before we had children. As I think back, we did a lot. Travel, lots of hard work, and a lot of fun times together. Now, I look to the future and ponder what will I do without her. I have two beautiful, magnificent daughters to serve as a constant and marvelous reminder of all that was good and decent about her. Smart, sensitive, funny, caring, kind. Shortly after she passed away, I got a note from a friend that closed with this line "May your daughters grow to be women like your wife was." I can think of no greater compliment to her.

There will always be a hole in my life. A place where Jennifer fit in so nicely. And it will never completely close. She was loved by so many. And none more than me.

The day she passed, I talked with my best friend. As we finished he said "Tell me what you need and I'll do it." At that point, I didn't have a clue what I needed. And then it hit me. "Call me in two weeks. Not to talk about this. But just to talk. And if I don't answer, tell me 'tag you're it.' And if I don't call you back in a few, call me back and kick me in the ass." Well, we've talked more often than that over the past 5 weeks. And it felt good. Keep in touch. Not just with me. But with your friends and family. Be a better person. Not for any other reason other than just because. Except because that’s what Jennifer would have done.